Tuesday, August 17, 2021

The Unpredictables of Life

 It's been a while since I've posted anything here for several reasons which none are really worthy. But all said and done I'm lucky to be here (as we all are) and I appreciate things a little differently now than last year. I'm not talking about the goofiness of this politicized pandemic, but rather a life altering event that I had no way of preventing, predicting, or controlling. 

Last year I spent some time visiting a Neuro-ICU for a spontaneous hemorrhagic stroke (aka Subarachnoid Hemorrhage or more specifically a perimesencephalic subarachnoid hemorrhage). Well anyway I had a very large amount of blood invade my brainstem which is a person's command and control center essentially. To say the least I am lucky to be alive and able to walk, talk and have only minor deficits now. As an ER nurse I've sent out dozens of these cases and I've never seen one come back alive or without being severely disabled. Oddly, I had a calmness about me when it was happening and I knew exactly what was happening the moment it started...I was strangely ready for the worst outcome. 

I couldn't drive for several months due to visual distortional impairments, but I could ride a bike (slowly). My first ride was only 2-miles and it felt like a hundred. I was tippy and felt very drunk feeling on that 1st ride, but it lead to more over time...

Soon 14 miles felt like a century ride, then 20, then...well you get the idea. Just over a year later and I still get crazy fatigue and require naps on a daily basis. I wake up every day feeling severely hungover and I don't drink alcohol anymore for obvious reasons. I'm up to working 2-days a week which is sometimes like running a marathon. But it's all good...I'm alive and functioning. 


Winter came and went...




Then...A few weeks ago...

I rode in the Butte-50 that I signed up for a few year ago but was postponed like everything was in 2020. My victory would be only to finish. Which I did...this was no easy task at 56-miles with 8600-ft of elevation change. With a lot of suffering and determination I did finish, not last but a long way down in the lineup. My secondary goal was to ride it in less than 8-hrs. I finished with just over 8-hrs of ride time, but I did spend a few hours resting along the way due to my fatigue issues and some moderate dehydration problems (it was hot). Still I won, total victory, I finished.  I vowed to never do that race again since it was so hard...

But a day later I started getting terrible urges to do it on a single speed bike (I have such a weird passion for single speed bikes - feel so comfortable on them). My broken brain is convincing me that with all the hill climbing it would be a lot easier with the right gear ratio. Well for now I have some months to really think those crazy thoughts over a bit more. 

In the meantime I'm totally having fun just riding and enjoying my life, my wife, and my goofy dog. 


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